The Birds and the Bees
by Canis Cantus
Summary: Leon s eyes widened in shock, as Sora asked him the dreaded question: Where do babies come from? No parings, just a funny little oneshot.


**The Birds and the Bees.**

**Canis here! My winter break is over, which means slower updates. But as a parting gift, I decided to write my first oneshot. I've seen many fics like this around, but I mostly got the idea from a funny conversation I had with a close friend of mine. Let's just say he has a new way of looking at things now. Anyways, please enjoy and don't forget to review!**

"Speech"

'_Thoughts'_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, or its characters. They are the property of their respective owners.**

**Notice: The following fic contains some inappropriate themes related to "The talk".**

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It was a bright and beautiful day in Radiant Garden. The sun was out, the birds were singing, there was a pleasant breeze, and there wasn't a Heartless in sight. Everything was simply perfect. The people who would have normally been working to rebuild the destroyed town decided to take the day off to relax and enjoy themselves. After all, it wasn't everyday that they got the chance to.

Only a few shops were open, most noticeably the ice cream shop. The sea salt flavored ice-cream had been a real success, even more so today since the town square was filled with people. Many of them talking, others were napping, some were just sitting down and contemplating the blue tinged scenery. Above all else, there was peace.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!"

Or at least there was, until a loud shout echoed throughout the town.

Several birds took flight from the surprise. Some of the sleeping townsfolk, even jumped up awake, startled by the sound. All the townspeople snapped their heads towards the direction from where the shout emanated. After seeing that it came from The Borough, many of the townsfolk relaxed and went back to whatever it was they were doing. It was probably just Leon and his gang again.

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**Inside Merlin´s House:**

Leon, was looking at Sora with total shock and disbelief. Sora cringed back, a little embarrassed and nervous from Leon's display; he didn't know the swordsman could shout that loud. Around them, Aerith had her hands covering her mouth, probably from laughter, Cid was laughing so hard that he was clutching his sides, Yuffie was laughing so hard that she was crying.

Leon felt the rush of blood to his face. All he could do was look back and wonder how he managed to get himself in this situation.

'Why me?' He groaned.

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**Flashback:**

It all started not even an hour ago. Sora was over visiting, when Yuffie burst through the door with the good news that one of the couples in town were going to have a baby. A happy atmosphere quickly took over. After all, since the town had been a victim to the Heartless for so long, it was rare for the town to get new residents. Nobody in the Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee could recall what it was like to have a baby around.

Soon, Aerith and Yuffie began making plans for a baby shower. Leon walked over to the other males that, much like himself, weren't really interested in what the girls were fussing over. Cid was now typing in front of the computer, while Sora was spacing out a few steps away from him. The young Keyblade Master, was deep in thought, his brow was furrowed in concentration, and a frown replaced his earlier smile.

"Hey Sora, what's wrong?" Leon asked, taking notice of his expression. The other occupants of the room heard this and turned to look at younger brunette.

"Nothing! It's just-erm, well..." Sora stuttered, while a faint blush appeared on his face.

"What is it?" Leon asked again, noticing Sora's reluctance to answer.

"I-well, I was just wondering…" Sora said still flushed, while scratching the back of his head nervously. "Where do babies come from?"

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**Present:**

Leon just stared with his eyes wide open. He then rubbed with two fingers against his temples, an obvious sign that he had a head ache, and then took a seat. The boy was fifteen for Odin's sake! How could he not know such a thing? Didn't his parents ever give him 'The Talk'? Even Yuffie knew!

"Well urm, you see…" Leon tried to say. He just couldn't do it.

Aerith came over and set a hot cup of tea beside him. He nodded a thanks to her, he was really going to need it.

"What I'm trying to say is…" Leon tried to continue, while hiding the blush on his face. Sora just looked at him with an extremely confused face. Leon sighed. "Some help guys?"

"I-I need to go tend to the flowers." Aerith quickly said, before leaving out the door.

"Yuffie?" Leon asked somewhat hopeful.

"I'm helping!" She said quickly, and ran out the door after Aerith.

"Cid?…Nevermind." Leon said. As much as he didn't want to give this talk, he knew it would be much worse if Cid gave it. He was almost sure that Cid would say a lot of things that Sora didn't need to know, EVER.

"Fine, be that way." Cid snorted, before he turned around and started typing again.

"Sora, haven't your parents ever talked to you about the birds and the bees?" Leon asked, as he continued to massage his temples.

"But what does that have to-" Sora was beginning to say but was interrupted.

"Babies! Did they ever tell you where babies come from?" Leon asked somewhat irritated.

"They said they would tell me when I was older, but then the islands got destroyed…and well. We haven't really touched that topic again." Sora said, as his tone became more sullen at the mention of the destruction of his home world. Even if they had been saved, it was still a touchy subject for him.

"How about in school?" Leon asked, sighing.

"They did, but I was tired and well… I fell asleep." Sora said, dwindling his thumbs.

"Didn't you ask your friends then?" Leon asked, taking his cup of tea into his hands.

"Well, I couldn't ask Kairi!" Sora said, with his face blushing red.

"But what about Riku?" Leon said, as he took a sip out of the cup.

"I did! But well, he didn't go into details." Sora said. "He just said it was like sealing a Keyhole."

Leon spit out the tea in his mouth, eyes wide in shock at the analogy. Cid fell off his chair, and began to laugh so hard he was clutching his sides and gasping for breath. Sora just tilted his head in confusion, obviously not getting what was so funny.

"I don't get it. How is it like sealing a Keyhole? If it is, then wouldn't people need a Keyblade?" Sora asked. This only made Leon blush harder, and Cid begin to gasp for breath while laughing.

"AHAHAHAHA!!! PLEASE STOP! I CAN´T BREATHE!" Cid said, still laughing.

Leon sent Cid a murderous glare that was ineffective due the pilot's current state. Besides, the usually stoic man was as red as a beet; it was hard to take him seriously. Leon then looked at Sora's expectant face. He realized he really had no choice but to explain.

_'Oh sweet Odin, just strike me down now! Let the Heartless invade again! I don't care, as long as I don't have to explain this!'_ Leon thought. "You see Sora, babies come from… their mothers."

"But how do they get in there? Is that what the Keyblade is used for?" Sora asked still confused.

Several images formed in Leon's mind, but he managed to shove them back and regain some of his seriousness. The blush was still present on his face. "Sora, Keyblades aren't needed! Now will you please just let me explain?"

Sora nodded, even though he was still confused.

Leon took a deep breath. This was hard enough to explain without Cid's laughter in the background. "There is this certain …action that happens between a mother and a father."

"_Just_ a mother and a father?" Cid snickered. Leon sent him a glare that could freeze hell over.

"So the baby comes from the father?" Sora asked.

"No, a little bit of the father gets inside the mother and a baby is formed inside of her, from those two bits." Leon said, as he fidgeted with the collar of his shirt. He was sure that the temperature of the room had increased by a few degrees.

"Wait, so what is this action? How exactly does the bit of the father get in? Does it hurt? Does the mother eat it?" Sora asked as he let his imagination run wild.

"Well that's one way." Cid muttered. Leon sent him another glare, but this time, it was followed by a hit that knocked the pilot out. Sora, looked at the scene before him with confusion and a little fear. Well, Cid _did_ have it coming.

Seeing how Sora was still expecting an answer, Leon just let out a defeated sigh, sat down, and buried his face in his hands. "It's called…"

"What?" Sora asked again, since he couldn't understand Leon's muffled response.

"It's called sex!" Leon said, removing his face from his hands and finally getting it out of his chest.

Sora's eyes widened in shock, as Leon proceeded to give him a very detailed explanation of how babies were made. After five minutes of an intense lecture, both male's faces were bright red. Leon hid his embarrassed face with his hands again, and Sora stood in absolute shock.

"Y-you mean, my parents, they…" Sora stuttered.

Leon nodded, his face still hidden.

"Simba and Nala, did they also…" Sora asked still shocked.

Leon nodded again.

"I-I need some time to think." Sora said before heading out the door, leaving behind the older brunette and the unconscious blonde.

Sora proceeded to walk around Radiant Garden on this sunny day. He looked down at his feet as he walked, and avoided gazing at anyone directly. Mostly so they wouldn't see his red tinged face. It would take some time before his mind could digest what he just learned. The new shocking information had given him a new perspective of things. For starters, he would never look at a Keyhole sealing in the same way again.

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**Canis: "So, how was it?"**

**Crystal: "You did that on purpose."**

**Canis: "Maaaaybe…" *grins***

**Crystal: *sighs * "Well as Canis mentioned before, school is starting soon, so it will be a while before any new updates."**

**Canis: "NOOOO! You can't make me go!"**

**Crystal: "Suck it up."**

**Canis: *takes out a mallet* "I HATE IT BACK THERE!" *knocks Crystal unconscious and runs off***

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**Please Review!**


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